Empty Nest

In earlier blogs I mentioned that my daughter was getting married.  She was married about two months ago.  What a happy time but also one of the most stressful times.  It’s amazing how a wedding can bring out the worst and the best of people.  This was my second daughter to get married so I figured I was ready for this along with all the emotions that come with it. 

With my first daughter it felt so easy.  She was an easy bride and everything seemed to fall into place.  There were no problems with the planning of her wedding; everything just seemed to go so smooth.  The only issues was her new brother-in-law making out at the head table with his girlfriend and then getting extremely drunk and making an embarrassing toast.  We ended up having to have him escorted out, but what’s a wedding without the one relative that we all pretend that we don’t know and shake our heads as though to say “It’s so not like him to act this way”. 

With my second daughter things weren’t as easy but now looking back it wasn’t that bad.  My daughter was a beautiful bride, just as beautiful as my first daughter.  There were many similarities to both weddings as far as my emotions went; but when she put on her dress my emotions took over.  I started feeling as though I was losing my baby and as the night wore on the feeling got worse.  By the time the happy couple was ready to leave I felt as though my whole world was crashing down around me and this mean man was ripping my baby from my arms.  I went to give her a hug good bye and I could not let go.  My oldest daughter finally stepped in and pulled me away.  I ran to my husband and started crying, where I’m sure he was thinking “what is wrong with her”, I just couldn’t help my feelings.  The next day I was much better and ok with the fact that she was now a married woman and was a Mrs. So and So. 

Since her wedding I now feel as though we are true empty nester.  Other than her Poly Pockets, old prom dresses, and some things left over from her cosmetology school days all of her belongings have moved with her.  What used to be her bedroom is a guestroom with no hint of it ever belonging to my baby girl.  I have decided that I need to embrace this time of my life and really start figuring out who I am.  My husband and I are celebrating 30 glorious years of marriage and the great part is that we really enjoy each other more now than we did when we were first married.  We are happy to just sit together without feeling as though we have to talk.  We love being able to stay out late and not have to worry about a babysitter, getting a child to an activity, or whether or not they have had dinner; they are adults they can figure out whether they need to eat or not all on their own.

Since embracing this change in our lives my husband has his naked room (it’s his den and for the most part he isn’t naked just in his underwear), dinner is chips and salsa, cranking on music from the 70’s and 80’s is acceptable, and we can stay out as late as we want with no worries.  Oh how I love being empty nesters; we worked hard to get to this point and we are enjoying every minute of it.

When did we become so dependent on cell phones?

In the state that I live in recently a law was passed saying that you cannot drive and talk or text on a cell phone unless you use a hands free devise.  Seems like a great idea to me.   They thought about all aspects of this new law except for one thing, people are now pulling off to the side of the freeway to answer or make phone calls.  How stupid can someone be?  Who are they calling or talking to that is so important to not only risk my life but theirs?  When I heard this my first thought was “maybe DMV should make everyone pass a “How Stupid Am I” test instead of a making everyone pass an eye exam”.  I guess they don’t want to do that because in all reality how many people would really pass this test. 

With this new law I started thinking, “when did we become so dependent on being in touch with everyone that we can’t make it from one destination to another without stopping to talk on a phone, check email, or text someone”.  Maybe I’m the only person that puts my cell phone on vibrate and then forgets to check it for hours and sometimes days.  I really don’t need to be in touch with people that bad, I figure that whoever is calling me they can just wait until I get to my destination.  During Monday through Friday I’m in constant communication with people at work that when I leave I don’t want to talk, text or most certainly not check my email.

I’m going to age myself here but I remember only having one phone in the house and it was located in the kitchen.  It didn’t come with a feature to text, check email, or be able to get on the internet, we didn’t even have voice mail so if we weren’t home we didn’t know that someone had called.  To really age myself our kitchen phone was orange (such a great color) and it had a rotary dial.  Here is the most shocking thing about the orange kitchen phone, we only had to dial 5 numbers there was no such thing as speed dial, I know what you are thinking “OMG she must have been a cave person”. I didn’t live in a cave but we did somehow manage to get by without having to be in constant communication with the outside world. 

I also remember when I could go to the grocery store, doctors, library, public bathroom, or pretty much anywhere and not have to be subjected to hearing phone conversations.  It doesn’t bother me at the grocery store but come on the bathroom this is supposed to be private time; next time think about those in the next stall over, we may not want our private business to be heard around the world.

So next time that you call me leave a message because chances are my phone is on vibrate sitting on the kitchen counter or in my purse.  I’m not sure if I will ever become dependent on being in constant communication because I like my free time and I figure if it’s an emergency call my home phone, yes I still have a home phone, call me old fashioned but I just can’t seem to get rid of it.  My home phone is no longer orange and a rotary dial, it actually is cordless and I have an answering machine.